Feeling Crabby?

This past August, Bill was on a cruise ship travelling through New England. One of the taste treats from the Atlantic ocean is Blue crab.

A fisherman I met on the dock explained to me how they catch these delectable creatures. The catching part was not too hard. The keeping part however required a unique knowledge of crab personality!

You see, if you catch just one crab and put it in the pail, it will climb out. You need to put a lid on the pail right away to prevent the escape of your dinner. However once you have two or more crabs in the pail, you can throw the lid away. Why?

Crabs are like some unsuccessful people you met in your life. They do all kinds of things to keep others from achieving goals or improving themselves. This can take the form of office politics, gossip, role-playing, promoting mediocrity, and so on.

The good news is if people try that, you don't have to buy into it. You can stay out of the pail in the first place by refusing to be a crab.

Instead of pulling others down, try raising them up.

There is more success in helping others gain than in being a crab! Besides, crabs are ugly.

Fear

As I sit at the computer this morning trying to come up with something profound for our newsletters, it hit me that my procrastination is usually based on fear.

The fear that someone will be offended by what I write, the fear that it won't be "deep" enough or it may be too deep...

Fear, what is it? I have heard it described as an acronym, False Evidence Appearing Real. However those of us who have experienced fear know sometimes it is real. But only less than 40% of the time according to the University of Michigan.

So why do we have these fears? Newborns, they say, have only two fears, loud noises and the fear of being dropped. So what do we do? We smack their bottom with a loud sound after they fall into the hands of the doctor! Doomed from the start are we...

Perhaps during this season as a child, you had the fear of Santa. Watching the movie A Christmas Story last night on the children's visit to the store Santa and seeing it through the eyes of a child makes me wonder if perhaps this is the root of all that fear!

It is not just you and me who have fears, famous people have them too. Julius Caesar was afraid of thunder (and I think later knives), Peter the Great, was afraid of bridges. He was the absolute ruler of Russia and stood 6 feet five inches tall! Barb is in good company for she too once feared bridges...

Have you examined your fears? Perhaps it is time to take an inventory, I am not a big fan of spiders. Sadly my daughters picked up on that fear and now share it with me. I guess it is true, misery likes company.

Why not make a list of your fears and start working on overcoming them. It is said that fear causes procrastination so if you find yourself hesitating on this little project perhaps there is a fear there?

Here is what the pattern can become in some peoples lives from John Maxwell.


Fear breeds inaction;
Inaction leads to lack of experience;
Lack of experience fosters ignorance; and
Ignorance breeds fear.

See the cycle? Break it!


www.dynamics4u.com

Brain cells vs 000's and 111's

A few years ago while on board a cruise ship speaking I decided I needed a new watch. The boutique on board had many different brands and some were very expensive. I looked at Tag, Rolex, and a few others and decided they were way too much money and not nearly fancy enough.

However, we had a great rapport with the store manager and I knew I could get a bargain on a very fancy upscale timepiece. It may not be diamond encrusted or many thousands of dollars but it would look impressive. I was going for the look.

She listened carefully to my exploding ego talk about what was important to me in a timepiece (none of which had anything to do with telling time) with patience and drooled at the opportunity to sell me a fancy looking high tech gadget.

She showed me a really upscale state of the art watch that had enough buttons to launch the space shuttle. Perfect, I thought that is what I need. This watch had auto synchronization to an atomic clock throughout the world, a solar battery that never needs replacing, different time zones around the world, two alarms, pressure tested to 500 feet (I rarely swim below 4 feet of water) a titanium case, and of courser a great look. It is an aviators watch with a special dial around the crown for figuring out navigational numbers like speed, fuel usage etc.. This is all stuff I really need because it makes the watch look better, not because I have ever piloted a plane.

It looked fabulous, had a heavy feel and was a statement of success, I thought...

Well, it has been several years now, the watch still looks great, (that titanium case really works) I wear with a certain amount of pride as a symbol of a sort of achievement. Vanity at it's best.

The reality? This thing drives me nuts!

Every year about this time I have to change the time for daylight savings, and every year I spend a stupid amount of time trying to get the thing to do what I want. And, its not just here; if we are travelling and God forbid we go into another time zone I am lost. It calls for a trip to the ships jewellery store to find a 20's somebody who actually knows how to make this technological sun dial work!

How important is the solar panel to me now? How much do I gain from the auto synchronization to the atomic clock in Fort Collins now?

If I try to set it, I can't see the flipping numbers or dials. Clearly this was made for an aviator with better than 20/20 vision not an old guy who needs reading glasses.

After 30 minutes both online and with the manual, (I keep the manual right on my desk because I know next Spring this is going to happen again) two cups of coffee, several expletives, the time is now correct.

I think... it may be set for pm rather than am, again, I can't see the darn dials. I will know that tomorrow, when the date is wrong and the whole thing has to be done again...

I am almost to the point of making it my desk paperweight. Either that or re-gifting it to a son or son in law who can still see the dials.

So the moral of the story? While I love technology, I have to watch out for ego, vanity, not to get in the way of making a sensible purchase.

Now about, about that new Ipad 2.....

Still, it looks pretty.... and it was a bargain... justify, justify it...

Tracking Progress

Late Monday I ordered some product from the US.

Now, as many of our Canadian readers know, when we order from  the US we have to go through the whole customs clearance procedure. It can be lengthy and costly. In this case the product is SO much cheaper to purchase from the States it is worth the duty and brokerage fees.

One of the things that amazes me when I order this way is how I can track the shipment. I only have to click a number link and voila, there it is, my package winging its way towards our office. This is fast, efficient and modern.

So, what is the point? The point is sometimes don't we wish people had a "tracking" number for their progress in life?

What if you could click a button and see if they are still reading, growing, and learning, or are they just in a vegetative state letting life pass them by glued to the boob tube?

If we were to click your number what would it say? When was the last time you read a book on self improvement, attended a seminar on learning a new thing, listened to an audio that gave you a different perspective?

Something to mull over during the upcoming holiday season and the dreaded New Year resolution activity huh?

Why not set a goal to read more and watch TV less.

You won't be disappointed.

I know I am going to and now I am accountable to you!

Preparation

Today as I sit in Canadian Tire getting new snow tires, I am actually ahead of the curve when it comes to winter prep.
How often do we leave tasks like this till the last minute and then wonder why we can't get traction on the issue?
I know In the past I have been guilty of this type of procrastination, how about you?
What "tires" do you need to change to get better results in your life?
What are your "wear indicators" telling you? On tires it is obvious, sometimes in us they are hidden in stress, anger, impatience, to name a few.
Give yourself a check up from the neck up and see if it is time for some new wheels.

Lady Madison of Kingswood

Lady Madison of Kingswood

Today was a tough day. Today was the day we had to put this beautiful animal down. Madison was 10 years 4 months and the most gentle friend you could ask for. How many of us wish we had these qualities; great listener, always happy, never too tired for a run or a walk, did not offer opinions or talk back, loyal, and loving.

This picture is of her around 2 1/2 years old. Up until that point we wondered what the heck we got when we picked this dog. She was always getting in trouble, then a funny thing happened, she changed! The next 9 years were filled with the joy of owning this incredibly intelligent, well behaved and wonderful pet.

Madison was my dog (Bill), she rarely left my side. Always in my office right beside my chair, the only time she would move was when she had to make a trip and this big head would plunk down on my leg. That was her subtle way of saying "for the love of God let me out!".

We only heard Maddy bark maybe a total of 10 times in her life. Never a growl, yelp, or really any kind of noise, but she spoke volumes with her eyes, and more so with her eyebrows. She could lift those eyebrows up and around as if speaking to us.

The past couple of weeks we had seen a marked drop in her ability to walk and a swelling of her front right leg. Then there was a mass growing around her heart and she was out of breath easily. This morning she could not get up by herself and it was time. We have a great caring vet who had been monitoring her over the past few weeks and he agreed it was time.

As I sit here and write this I keep expecting her to walk into the room, but that will not happen anymore. I have lost a great friend and this hurt will be a long time leaving.

If you have a pet, be sure to give it an extra hug tonight, I know I wish I could....

Home away from home

When you travel as much as we do, about the last thing we look forward to is another sterile, generic, hotel room. Over the past few years we have experienced some wonderful B&B's. What a refreshing way to spend an evening, and what beautiful surroundings.
Often the other guests are fascinating too! Last time we stayed here there was a judge who shared breakfast with us. Some great conversation happened over warm croissants.
Truly great hosts at this establishment as they remembered us from our visit two years ago, right down to what I take in my coffee. Now theta is customer service. Not like the fancy hotel and cookie blog from earlier.
The message for today's blog is make the best of travel. Don't just opt for another bland hotel room, go for something unique and make it your home away from home.
I have included a picture of Viewfield in Walkerton.

Thanksgiving

Well, Thanksgiving is over for all of us Canadians. Our American friends still have the turkey feeding frenzy to go through.

As we are now three days past I wonder how many people are still thinking gratitude? Has life now caught us and we are racing towards that ever elusive goal of success?

In my daily reading this morning I came across a great statement about taking the higher road. This is the road that is less traveled. How often do we miss the turn opting instead to stay on safe and narrow path never utilizing the opportunity we have to take the high road?

People who take the high road know that its not what happens TO you but IN you, that matters.

I love this story from the civil war. It seems there was a Confederate general named Whitting who was a jealous rival of general Robert E Lee. This general never passed up an opportunity to spread rumours about Lee. When President Jefferson Davis was considering the general for a promotion he asked Lee his opinion of him. Now, Lee had an opportunity to get even. What did he do? Without hesitation, Lee endorsed and commended Whitting. When pressed for details as to why, he simply stated, "I understand the President wanted to know my opinion of Whitting, not Whitting's opinion of me."

I wish I could say I would do the same. A useful nugget of history to help us build our character.

Oh, and I am grateful for that!

Customer Service

Well, this has been a busy week. Calgary at the beginning, where we stayed at a beautiful hotel in downtown Calgary with a really nice room and all the amenities. We had a fire alarm in the middle of the night (ironically it was a Fire Chiefs Conference) and the hotel was professional and sent a letter of apology the next morning to every guest. Good customer service.

Then on Wednesday and Thursday I attended another conference in Toronto. This time as a delegate for the Board I serve on. A little strange not to be the one on the podium. Great perspective though as I saw the presentations through the eyes of the audience.

Again this was a four star hotel with many fine facilities. In fact, when you arrive they greet you with a warm chocolate chip cookie. Who would not feel welcome with a warm, gooey, chocolate chip cookie? Check in was fast and efficient, truly a great experience. My thoughts were, "Wow, these folks are good!"

Then I got to my room.

At the end of the long hall, furthest from the elevators, and in the corner of the building. When I tried to enter the room there was no light switch and it being late at night, I was confused as to how I would keep one hand on the door and reach to the desk several feet away to flip on the light. So ever resourceful, I jammed my bag against the door and flipped on the light. That should have been a clue...

When I looked around the room I noticed the bed was VERY low. Hmmm, I will check out the bathroom, not bad, but boy that bed is really low... Now I am 6'2" and 255 pounds, not a small man, and I am thinking, I will die trying to get into and out of that bed.

That's when I noticed, HEY THAT'S A MURPHY BED!!!!

$200 bucks a night for a Murphy bed? I don't think so. My "S" style quickly vanished and out came the "D" in me.  On the phone to the front desk to explain the situation, transferred to another person who tells me the hotel is  fully booked. Not my problem, I politely tell her ("S" starting to creep back), my association paid for a for a full room not a closet. After some further "discussion", I was directed to come back to the lobby to pick up the key to my new room.

The new room was much better and exactly what I had requested.

The welcome cookie was now cold....

The point of all this is, what value did the cookie have? When a staff member lies about the hotel being full and then "finds" a room? How do you feel about the cookie now?

Companies spend millions on gimmicks to welcome guests in the hotel industry, perhaps some additional training on customer service would be in order.

We know of a great company that can help with that!

Canadian Association of Fire Chiefs Conference-Calgary Alberta

Well, here we are back home in Ontario after a terrific conference out west. Western folk sure know how to make you feel welcome!

As we were waiting for our luggage at the airport our driver said to us "Do you know this other fellow I am picking up?" I said who is that? He says, Julian Fantino!

Mr Fantino is the Associate Minister of Defence for Canada. So what personality style do you suppose he is? We had a chance to chat about Police services as I serve on a Police Services Board here in our community and he has an extensive police background. Needless to say I kept the conversation direct with little fluff...

Thank goodness for the personality knowledge that I was able to utilize. I enjoyed speaking with him and hearing his thoughts.

The conference was terrific with several hundred Fire Chiefs from across the country participating. We saw many familiar faces from our conferences attended in Toronto, North Bay, and Saskatchewan. It was a bit like old home week with some of the fellas.

Of course this group is comprised of a LOT of very high "D" and "C" styles. Sometimes you wonder if they are buying into the information. Well, at the end of talk, we had a HUGE number of participants come up to talk to us at our resource table about their situations and shared their thoughts. The response of the comment cards was over the top with excitement and enthusiasm.

Later that night we got to see yet another side of these local heroes when we went out to the ranch and saw a real life rodeo, complete with bull riding, western music and great food! This was a chance for many to just relax, let down their guard and party on...

So the next time you think you are having trouble with a "D" or "C" remember to give them to process and give their opinions and comments. It makes a huge difference.

Fire Fighting and Changing Roles

This week we are presenting to the Canadian Fire Chiefs Association. If there was ever a career that is seeing massive changes this it. Gone are the good old days of a bunch of the boys racing to put out a fire.
In today's world these dedicated professionals have to posess leadership, communication and people skills at a level never experienced in the past.
It is an honour to work together with these pros.

Lessons from a 2 year old...

You may be asking yourself what possible lesson a 2 year old can teach you. Well,  here is our grand daughter Samantha. A few moments ago she called (with the help of mom) to speak with Grandma. I answered the phone and all I heard was, "it's not Grandma, its Grandpa!" Apparently I was not the intended receiver for her message. She wanted nothing to do with me, this one was all for Grandma.
So here is the lesson, have you ever made a call with such focus and intention to speak to your client, lead, prospect, that you ignored the assistant on the line? Talk about a death knell!
Of course, Samantha has not learned phone etiquette yet, who expect her to? But you? You, should know better! So many times I have seen people zip by the receptionist to rush toward the client, ignore the assistant on the phone because their message was more important.
Wow, one of the strongest contacts we make is with the executive assistants. These folks (both male and female) are not only like gold, apparently they are people too! Imagine that! I make it my mission to get to know them very well. They have the inside track and often become good friends over time.
So in the words of my mother, BE NICE when communicating with people on the phone. You never know when it will pay you huge dividends!
Oh, and Samantha, I called HER back!

Adapting-Good News For A Change!

Who says change has to be bad? For some this statement is easily said. For others they totally relate to the idea that change, however minor, is a major event in their lives. How you respond to change is largely personality driven. In our recent book DISCover Your Communication Style, you can learn a lot more about this and other pieces of your personality that make you unique. Check it out here at our website under store. www.dynamics4u.com 

Brrrrrr, what happened to summer? All of a sudden the leaves are changing and fall is fast approaching.

Sometimes it feels like that at work to right? Change is never ending, and how we cope with it largely depends on our personality and general approach to life. If you are a glass half full type person or half empty your views are often different.
For the D style they tend to roll with change. Heck, often they instigate it!!
The I style is pretty flexible, because it is an opportunity to meet new friends!
The S style is probably the most reluctant to change. Remember this when moving offices around, give them space and time to re-settle. That could be a day , it could be a week! This is time well invested for this style. The C will likely be a little resistant as well unless they are included in the planning of the move. Who better to logically think this move through? Utilize this style's strength in organization when preparing for a move.

No matter what the style get ready for Fall 'cause it is acomin' Think warm thoughts and batten down the hatches!

Anniversary

Last week Barb and I celebrated 36 years of marriage. We went together for 4 years before that so I am thinking it has been pretty much 40 years of togetherness. Many people want to know the secret to a happy marriage... answer; marry a Saint! At least that is what I said. I like the term Saint Bill don't you?

Apparently Barb had a different philosophy, something about patience, understanding, tolerance, etc... No idea what she is talking about!

The truth? The truth is it takes work. It takes a sense of humour. It does take patience, Barb is really the Saint for putting up with my weird way of doing some things.

Have all 36 years peaceful bliss? Hardly, lots of high level discussions and heated debates. But hey that is what it takes to make a couple. I wouldn't change a day... well, maybe one day on that trip to the east coast with the kids when it rained for 20 of the 21 days of our holidays packed into a Honda Civic with three kids, camping gear and a yellow lab. you get the idea, a recipe for disaster. That was a close one. Remember this was
pre-knowing about DISC!!!

But we made it through and now when we travel on a cruise ship to the east coast we chuckle about those crazy days.

Marriage like life is all about the memories; good and bad. It is what makes this couple stay in tune. So, go out and make some crazy memories, and you to will have stories to bore your kids with!

Cruising

So, as many of you know, I have just returned from 4 weeks on the bounding main. Speaking aboard a cruise ship is a rather unique experience. You meet a very wide variety of people form every walk of life. I have spoken to people of varied back grounds, from former ambassadors to plumbers, from rocket scientists (yes, he worked for NASA) to sharing a hot tub with the former FBI prosecutor who put mob bosses away. I was a little worried meeting him.

I will try to put a little chuckle into your day with some of the experiences of life on board a beautiful modern ocean liner. So stay tuned for more.

A new attempt.

Well, in looking for my old blog, it appears that Blogger has changed. Imagine my surprise! After all it has only been two years since I posted... Can't imagine why it would have changed. So, here is a new attempt to start a blog. No clue as to how to bring the old one over but hey, it's been two years so, here goes!